Anything But Lemon and Cheese Soup
by ThreeDollarBill
Summary: Fleur has to deal with the weird behaviors of a pregnant Hermione. Included are rapid changes of mood, weird cravings, and a sudden case of raging sexual hormones. FleurHermione oneshot.


**When my job gets boring, I think up new story ideas. Lucky for you all, tonight was a terribly boring night at work.**

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__Anything But Lemon and Cheese Soup_

"GODDAMMIT FLEUR!" Hermione screamed. She grabbed the priceless vase that Fleur's mother had given to them on their wedding day and launched it at her wife.

Fleur, who had been blessed with rather quick reflexes, easily dodged the heavy vase. She quickly muttered "_Reparo_", and then briskly walked up to Hermione and pinned her arms to her side. "_Mon amour_, please, relax." she murmured.

Hermione's eyes narrowed and she growled at Fleur. "_Don't_ tell me what to do, Fleur."

"_Ch__érie, _you must sit down. You do not want to 'arm ze baby." Fleur said.

Hermione wrenched herself from Fleur's hold. "Fleur, don't be stupid. My being angry is not going to harm the baby." She glared at Fleur and walked into the kitchen. A few minutes passed and Hermione called out sweetly, "Fleur, darling, will you help me find something to eat?"

Fleur sighed. She knew that pregnant women had mood swings, but she never guessed that Hermione's would be this bad. "_Oui_, I will 'elp you." She strode into the kitchen and raised her eyebrows. Hermione was sitting at the table and running her hand over her pregnant belly while softly humming. She looked up and smiled at Fleur. "Oh, baby, I love you so much." Hermione walked up to her wife and wrapped her arms around Fleur.

"Er, _je t'aime aussi_, 'ermione." Fleur murmured. "Now," Fleur pulled back from the embrace. "what would you like to eat?"

"Hmm..." Hermione trailed off. "You know what sounds good?"

"What?" Fleur asked cautiously. Hermione had been having some weird cravings lately, and Fleur was pretty sure that whatever Hermione wanted, they wouldn't have. She braced herself for Hermione's answer and started to plan for a trip to the grocery store.

"A nice sandwich. But I don't want to trouble you or anything, Fleur."

Fleur breathed a sigh of relief. A sandwich she could do, but not something like the lemon and cheese soup Hermione had wanted the other day. "Zat's no problem at all, 'ermione." Fleur moved over to the fridge and opened the door.

"Wait, Fleur. Don't you want to know what kind of sandwich I want?" Hermione asked.

_Oh god, _Fleur thought. "I was zinking..bologna and cheese?" she asked hopefully.

"Umm, no." Hermione said. "Tuna fish and banana sounds _really_ good."

"Tuna fish and _banana_?" Fleur asked weakly.

"Yes. It just sounds so...yummy. That's not a hard request, is it?" Hermione asked, not wanting to trouble her lover.

"_Non, non_. It's no trouble." Fleur said assuredly. _I just hope to God we have tuna fish._ Fleur bustled about through the kitchen and opened the cupboard doors, praying that they had a can of tuna fish. After a few moments of searching, she came to the conclusion that they in fact did not have any. "Er, _mon amour_? We don't seem to 'ave any tuna fish. We 'ave bananas, but no fish."

Hermione stared at Fleur for a few moments. "What the HELL do you mean we have no tuna fish?! Get off your ass and go get some!!" Hermione screamed.

Fleur cringed. "_Ma chérie_, is there nothing else you want? Per'aps some soup or somezing?" _Just not lemon and cheese soup_, _anything but lemon and cheese soup, _Fleur pleaded silently.

Hermione looked at Fleur incredulously. "Did I freaking STUTTER, Fleur?" Hermione jumped up and walked closer to the other witch. "Get me some goddamn tuna fish or I swear to God you will be sleeping on the couch for a month!"

Fleur paled visibly. "_O-oui_, 'ermione. A tuna fish and banana sandwich it is." Fleur whirled around and grabbed her purse, then Disapparated from the house.

Hermione settled down at the table. "Damn straight." she mumbled.

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When Fleur came back to the house she found Hermione dozing on the couch. She smiled as she knelt down to her wife and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "You are so beautiful, 'ermione." Fleur murmured. 

"Mmm." Hermione mumbled as she woke up. "Hello, baby."

Fleur smiled. "Do you want your sandwich now?"

Hermione opened her eyes and sat up. "Actually...I'm kind of craving something else now."

Fleur sighed. "Really? After I went to ze store and everyzing?" she asked.

Hermione's eyes filled with tears. "Oh my God. I'm so sorry, Fleur." she started sniffling. "You're s-so good t-to me, and I'm s-such a pain in the ass." Hermione burst into full-blown tears. "Why d-do I have to b-be such a b-bitch all the time?!" Hermione wailed.

Fleur brushed Hermione's tears away and held her hand. "It is alright, _mon amour_. I know it is not your fault, it is ze pregnancy zat is messing with your moods. Do not fret over it."

Hermione inhaled slowly and tried to calm down. "You're so good to me, Fleur. I don't deserve you."

Fleur put a finger on Hermione's lips. "'ush, don't say such zings." Fleur sat down next to her on the couch and wrapped her arm around Hermione's shoulders. "Now, what is it zat you want to eat?"

"Er, don't think it's weird or anything..."

_I'm sure it's not any weirder than lemon and cheese soup or a tuna fish and banana sandwich_, Fleur thought.

"But fried pickles sounds delicious."

"Zat's not...too weird." Fleur said, relieved that they actually had pickles. "Come, let's go into ze kitchen and I will...er...fry you up some pickles."

Hermione beamed and strode into the kitchen. She opened the fridge door and handed Fleur a jar of pickles. "Here you are, love."

Fleur grabbed a frying pan and turned on the stove. "'ermione? Do I fry ze pickles in anyzing, like oil?"

"Just fry them in a little bit of the pickle juice."

After a few minutes of frying the pickles Fleur felt Hermione's arms wrap around her. "Mmm, Fleur. You smell so good. Are you wearing a new perfume?"

"No I am not. Maybe you smell ze laundry soap zat I washed our clothes in." Fleur said as she concentrated on frying the pickles. God only knew what would happen to her if she burnt them.

Hermione trailed kisses from the base of Fleur's neck up to her ear, and sucked on her earlobe. Fleur moaned and leaned into Hermione's touch. Hermione whirled Fleur around and crashed her own lips onto Fleur's. Hermione sucked on Fleur's bottom lip and immediately slid her tongue into Fleur's mouth and ravaged it. Fleur was surprised, yet very turned on by Hermione's sudden raging hormones. After a few moments Hermione pulled back from the kiss and rested her forehead on Fleur's.

"God, you're sexy. I want you _right _now." Hermione growled.

"What about ze pickles 'ermi-"

"Screw the pickles. I'm taking you right now, it can either be on the kitchen floor or in our bed. You make the choice."

Fleur responded immediately by picking Hermione up and carrying her through the kitchen and into their bedroom.

She was beginning to love the crazy behaviors of the pregnant woman.

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**Let me know what you thought! Thanks:) **


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